Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
