I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
