he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wish i was in the wii world.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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