i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Randomize
