Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
