You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
