you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
