I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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