Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
