Im at strip club and am horny
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize