Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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