I feel like abortions should bother me more
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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