butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
