Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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