Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We talked him into tasing himself.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
