Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
