I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
