Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Acid is not a monday night drug
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize