I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize