What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
