I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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