If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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