So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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