I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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