therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
