You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
