it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
sex in a hospital.. check
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
