DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
