we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
