And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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