she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
