So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
