Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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