My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
