Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize