At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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