You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
