What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
