I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
