Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
