I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
