I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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