Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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