im gay
i know
yea but for you.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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