I am puke
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
