this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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