butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
