please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I intend to get homeless drunk
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
