So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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