My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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