I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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