...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
