My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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