I hate all girls vehemently.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
