walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
