you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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