Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
