Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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