i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize