I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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