Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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