His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You need Xanax blowdarts
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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